When the youngest turns 13

(A moment-by-moment account of the last thirteen-year-old birthday our family will have)

I knew the birthday celebrations would be trying for me. Aries wanted to go to Oaks Amusement Park for his birthday, and I was prepared to spend the atrocious $200 for him, his next-older brother Leoii, and their two friends to have the best tickets and food/game money for unlimited fun there. But I hated the sun and was miserable in 80+ degree weather. Five blocks away from the park, we hit the back of the ticket-purchasing line. In the car.

"I don't know..." Aries said, staring at how long we'd have to wait, and they all knew how crowded it would be if the line was this long.

"What's your alternative plan?" I asked before we reached the point of no return.

"Umm... G6 Airpark, I guess," he said, shrugging.

"OK," I nodded, happy that he chose an indoor spot away from the sun, and something much more affordable.

Reaching the plaza in which G6 was situated, I realized it was past 1:30 and no one had eaten lunch. One of my boys' favorite places to eat was Old Chicago, which happened to be in the same plaza.

"If you're hungry," I said, parking between the two buildings of choice, "We can have some Italian nachos and a pizza at OC." A resounding "yes" of relief was issued by each boy, and they led the way for me to go into the refreshingly air-conditioned restaurant and get us a table. Aside from Leoii hitting himself repeatedly with the menu like a nimrod, and everyone's cell phone becoming a center of interest for a few minutes, the meal was a success.

"Do they know you or something?" Leoii asked me after the friendly waitress and attentive manager left the table for different questions about our order. "No, they're just really nice here," I said. I'd eaten at this Old Chicago before and they were always smiling and making sure to get things right.

Since the two dishes were being shared by four ravenous teen-aged boys and one mother wanting to keep her figure below the 200lb. mark, just enough was eaten to have energy to jump around at G6 without throwing up.

At G6 we bought the special jumping socks, and two hours of jump-time. With this and lunch, I'd still spent less than Oaks Park, so I was pretty happy with how things turned out.

I had homework due that night, so sat on one of the plush couches in their lobby with a Mt. Dew and did the reading and note-taking I'd brought, actually getting a lot of homework done on a day I thought would keep me too busy to do so. It took an hour and 40 minutes before they were done jumping. Tired and hot, they got in the Jeep and expressed the desire to rest in front of the TV at home.

"Nope," I corrected them, "It's BBQ time when we get home. Your friends may already be there," I said to Aries. I told Leoii that he could hide-out in his room and rest if he wanted, but as soon as we got there all of the boys all scattered and went to play in the park across the street. More boys came, and disappeared into the distant abyss of fun, only falling upon the picnic table in our yard when burgers and dogs were announced. One bench of the table even broke and had to be propped up with a bucket, there were so many seated on it!

Instead of cake, I had gotten peanut butter pies from Shari's with ice cream to go with it, which only a few of the active boys felt they could stomach. Then, like a swarm of t-shirt locusts having wreaked their havoc, they flew off into the park again with basketballs, and under the park bridge with a dodgeball. I barely saw any of them again that night before they went home.

I didn't even recognize one of the boys. Was he just some kid from the park?

I hoped that I wouldn't be getting angry calls or texts from parents who found out there were "throwing knives lessons" at the party. They were gifts from Aries' father, and Leo had actually been in charge of the event so was present the whole time, but different parents have different levels of need for protective control. In open-minded Portland I was just as likely to hear nothing from anyone.

Everyone having gone home, I sat on the couch and reflected on the day. A year ago, I was just beginning to see emerging social emersion of Aries. He had been quiet, reserved, watching his brothers and classmates, and once told me he never made faces at school even though he does it at home because he was made to feel dumb for doing so. Now, he is proud of his elastic face that has become his trademark, he has found friends who appreciate his ability to make them laugh, and his ability to run well, his sense of understanding jokes, and story-telling. He texts his friends, and I really want to know what they talk about so I know whether he's incorporating healthy mortals and values, but I have to leave him alone. How can he become himself, and practice using the values Leo and I have shown him, if I don't let him?

Aries has grown more in this last year of "childhood" than at any other time, it seems, and I will cherish the fact that he doesn't mind his Mom walking him to school... so far. He may have the luxury of secrets as a teen-ager, now, which is my test in trust as a mother, but he always shows me love, too. Secrets and quiet love for a mother: my teen aged boy.

#Aries #birthday #thirteen #secrets