Modern Shield Maiden

Despite my having finally finished college, when my bindery job fell out from under me I did not get the great writing job that I thought would magically manifest because of my shiny new degree. Instead, I grabbed whatever I could make money doing – the same reason I took the bindery job – and ended up as a Front Loader at Lowe’s. My first thought was: This is not using my talents at all. What a waste. My second thought was: At least Lowe’s won’t suddenly shut down and leave me displaced like the bindery did. My third: Boy, I sure get to move around a lot here!

I have been lifting washers, dryers, dishwashers and fridges into people’s trucks and cars for four-plus months as of now, stacking flooring and concrete blocks, maneuvering doors and windows into H-carts and then shifting them into people’s trailers… And I’ve been building muscle, but you wouldn’t know it by the look people give me when I walk over to help them load their lawnmower into their car, especially if it’s a woman. Twice, I’ve shown up for a “code 50” only to have the woman say, “Oh, now I feel bad,” because she unknowingly had a woman summoned to do the heavy work.

One older man saw me approach, and kept his face pointed toward the door, waiting for help, but his dubious eyes followed me as I stopped by his truck, ready to transfer flooring into the bed.

“Don’t give me that look,” I laughed.

“My daughter is about your age,” he stated, “and she had a hard time helping me.”

I constructed a tired smile as I told him, “I’ve been doing this successfully for a few months now. I’ll get it done.” And I just began without his go-ahead, doing it without ruining anything and without hurting myself.

I am not a small woman. I have lost over 20 pounds since beginning this job that yields over 20,000 steps per day if done right, but even at my healthiest weight, (15 pounds lighter than I am now), I won’t be small. Why does society still hold pockets of doubt about female physical strength? Granted, many customers take my help without a blink, and some even look appraisingly at me in my superheroic cape of confidence, self-satisfaction and desire to help. But the general consensus seems to be that maybe women do some yardwork or wall-painting, but not so much lifting and shoving.

In trying to reason this out, my thoughts go to the generations of both women and men being put in a certain place by society. Both women and men were happy to put women in the kitchen and doing laundry while allotting men to do away-from-home work whether it’s office or labor. That path began centuries ago, and now the roles are trying to jump out of the pre-conceived rut that ensued. Many people are still stuck in the rut, stuck in tradition, and I imagine life is a little more difficult for that tendency. Also, opportunities are missed when one thinks there are certain types of limits on what can be done. Truly, the only limit is in the mind. Somehow, though, that’s the most difficult limit to get past.

My view of traditional minds being loosened to the truth of life has been heartened by one of my oldest co-workers. He claims to have been a very redneck-hearted man in his past, using the “n word” without qualms and keeping a fairly narrow mind in his youth. Today he’s one of the kindest, gentlest men I’ve met, and he asked me recently:

“Have you seen ‘Vikings’?” Referring to the show about the history of that culture – my culture. I admitted that I hadn’t yet, but fully intended to. “Well, in that show there are women called Shield Maidens, and when I see you I always think of that. You seem very much like a Shield Maiden.”

He was, in part, referring to the fact that I have a very Scandinavian facial structure and pigment, but he mostly highlighted my willingness to lift heavy things and go forward with capability and willingness in difficult tasks.

That willing strength is one part of how my spirit maintains happiness, and I hope many more women find joy in exerting physical strength as well as the willingness to challenge such capabilities. I think that a world of strong and intelligent women, loved by men who appreciate that strength and intelligence as a part of their partnership, is how humanity will grow stronger as a whole. I hold satisfaction in knowing that I’m one more step toward that end.

#shieldmaiden #strength #women #loader