First 2020 Post Has a Virus.

It’s April 9th, 2020 as I start writing this. I haven’t kept up on my little blog here, but I have certainly filled my personal journal. January of 2019 was the last addition to Whatlightbulb, and so much has happened in my life since then that it’s no wonder the Life of a Female Pisces has been on pause online. And now the world is in the throes of the Coronavirus: Covid-19. Starting in China, apparently in a bat that passed it on to an animal that is closely associated with humans, it has quickly spread throughout the world and shown each of us our neighbor’s and friends’ raw mindsets. Nothing strips the facade of our social face like dawning panic.

The first case in the world was back in November, apparently. The first case in the U.S. was documented as March 5 of this year. As of today, according to the Oregon Health Authority, Oregon has had 38 deaths and 1239 positive-test cases out of 24,564 tested. Those dying of it tend to be an older generation, and if younger people are dying of it it’s due to immune deficiency they already had. But three days after it appeared in the U.S. Governor Brown issued a stay-at-home directive and everyone is supposed to stay away from society as much as possible. When they do need to go to the store, Social Distancing should be practiced at six feet as well as wearing any sort of layer over one’s mouth and nose - mask with filter or even a bandana. Somehow, toilet paper and paper towels were the first things to disappear from the shelves EVERYWHERE. Restaurants have closed or are only open to drive-through or carry-out. Unessential businesses like gyms and most of the stores in the mall are closed. Only essential workers and stores are accessible. Schools shut down a week before spring break, and will probably not resume for the year. Those who would have graduated high school are going to have a difficult time celebrating. Online school is being established this week.

I was surprised to find that I, working at a Lowe’s Home Improvement store as a Merchandise Servicing Associate, am an essential worker. Lowe’s is staying open because people’s plumbing, windows and doors still need to be repaired, walls need to be built and lights fixed, stuff like that. At work, anti-virus measures have been constructed like plexiglass dividers at the checkouts and “Stand Here” squares to coax customers to stay 6 feet away from each other in line. And despite the stay-at-home order, one of the busiest sections of the store is the Garden Center. Soil, mulch, planters, etc. are not considered essential. Yes, I understand that growing your own food can be essential in a pandemic situation where food supplies could be cut by state borders shutting down, but unless you can grow a whole salad or potatoes in a week or two, it doesn’t help much. And frankly, that’s not what these people with no masks, no sense of distancing, and no sense of priority, are buying these things for. I am gaining a sense that they simply have time, now, to do the aesthetic yard work they haven’t had the time or weather to get done before now. Lowe’s numbers are only marginally lower than this time last year.

Fortunately, the company I work for takes care of its employees. Anyone who has to stay home because of the virus will get paid leave for up to four weeks. Last week, employees received a bonus. And now we are receiving a temporary raise for four weeks essentially as “combat pay” to have to be around people who won’t stay home when they should. Also to be there for people who truly do need lumber to build a space for their sick relative or for the contractors who keep working through this whole ordeal. The city has to keep growing no matter what, you know.

I rode the MAX to South Waterfront to pick up supper that was bought for me. There were signs hung over most of the seats on the train, saying, “Don’t sit here” and leaving only a few seats that are 6 feet apart. I think of the fact that the number of people at my work - employees and clientele alike - who wear protective masks is close to half, if possibly a little over. I feel an underlying sense of US vs. THEM. Masks vs. unmasked. When I walk naked-faced past someone protecting their face, in my head I hear them ask, “Why aren’t you protecting me by wearing a mask as well?” Then my own presence asks me, “Aren’t you afraid of getting the virus and bringing it to Tom’s house?” (Tom is an 81-yr-old I help each week, who has six stents in his heart. He is dear to me and I should be careful around him). But something inside me settles the anxiety about becoming sick. Like I have a wall keeping common sense from meshing with concern. I do cover my mouth and nose at work when I’m in people-dense areas, but not always. Will I pay for that carelessness? Am I no better than the soil-and-mulch-buyers?

Then someone who works at another Lowe’s nearby was found to have been working while infected with Covid-19. The 43 people who were in contact with them were also quarantined. And one of those 43 just died today due to complications with the virus mixed with her underlying issues. Now at work only 10 people at a time are allowed to use the tables in the break room, two people per table, 6 feet apart. Customers are lined up past Tool World in the main front aisle, awaiting assignment of a register so that there isn’t a bunch of people grouping closely as they try to buy their things. I’ve been talking to customers from across pods of pressure washers and moss killer, and they may or may not be trying to find something they can do without. I heard someone in the trellis section of Outside Garden Center say to my coworker, “I don’t have the money to spend right now, I’m just looking to see what I would need…” Why was this lady even there? I knew who she was, having experienced her as a customer at another job, and realized she probably wasn’t trying too hard to keep that 6 foot distance from anyone. Do all of our efforts really make a difference if there are those of us who slip-up because our mindset isn’t behind the harsh reality of this virus in others’ worlds?

I’m trying to get it through my head, wanting to take this as seriously as though I will die if I caught it. Or worse, as though I’ll kill someone else. It really feels like the weight of everyone around me is on my shoulders. (A lot of that’s a Pisces thing, though.) I feel stressed from the efforts to stay apart from people with whom I would normally feed my spirit. Sitting across the table is uneasy. Close conversations are a threat. Trying to shake someone’s hand is an insult. I really think we’ll all feel more appreciative of the little things when this is all lived through.

#Coronavirus #Covid19 #virus #April #Lowes