Encounters of a Beauty Advisor

On Clothespins, Untraditional Uses for:

He asked where the clothespins were. I showed him where they were hidden, and then brought him to my counter to be rung-up.

Not having seen many clothes-lines up in our neighborhood, I asked playfully whether they were intended to be instruments of torture.

"Well actually," he said admitting, "My wife and I have been married for a long time, and sometimes it helps to spice things up."

Nervous laughter and a change in subject ensued, then he told me a minute later that they were for a themed birthday party for his daughter NOT having to do with sadism. Good thing.

But maybe some of those clothespins will be saved for later…

On Orange, Not Being:

I first saw her in aisle 3 near skincare. I hope that when I winced and blinked she didn't notice. She was wearing the most blindingly orange athletic shirt I have ever seen.

She asked whether we had any pretend-tan lotion. I directed her toward it and she was happy to see what she found. She came up to my counter with the spray and told me how much she liked it. I barely heard her over her loud shirt.

Then she said, "Yeah, this stuff doesn't turn you orange."

"Oh, that's good," I said, trying to not look pointedly at her shirt.

She continued, "I tried other stuff and it gives me that orangey tone. I can't stand looking orange!"

At this point I wondered whether she was putting me on. She must know the first thing anyone would think once looking at her was "Orange!!" She was taking a trip to a beach in California and had no time to sit-out and get a tan naturally, she explained.

"I'd hate to get to the beach and look obviously orange." I smiled and nodded, agreeing, squinting against the glare. As she walked away I wondered, and yet was sure I already knew, what color swimsuit she would wear.